It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
