Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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