How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize