; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
