I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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