he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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