i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
