Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
