You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
