fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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