is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
