I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
