I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize