We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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