whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
