I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
