Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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