Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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