they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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