why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
