plz talk dirty to me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
