p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
