He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
