Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize