I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize