just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just found puke in my bra..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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