I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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