i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
