Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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