How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
