To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
