we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
