I just threw up on my dentist
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize