forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
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jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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