fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
