O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
