there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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