I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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