do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
