giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize