He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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