i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
