It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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