Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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