some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
