Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
