He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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