I must be too annoying 4 u.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
