All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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