Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
