That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
