We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
