I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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