I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He shit in the fireplace
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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