I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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