i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
