i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
