Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
