its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize