i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
